Not everyone that experiences grief needs therapy, but most everyone that experiences loss needs support.
Grief Therapy (or bereavement counseling) helps those impacted by a loss by creating a space for all of the waves of emotions that come with grief. In other words, a therapy session is a place where one can feel safe, supported, and free to express oneself.
Therapy allows you to experience your thoughts and emotions at your own pace, and begin to think about how you might recreate your life. Grief therapy provides the support, empathy, coping tools, and guidance as one experiences the many stages or milestones in the healing process.
Counseling for grief can help individuals, couples, and/or families learn helpful coping skills in order to manage the overwhelming and confusing mix of:
- Sadness
- Anger
- Fear
- and countless other emotions
Plus all of the ups and downs one may experience including:
- Fatigue
- Lack of appetite
- Poor sleep
- Feelings of despair and a loneliness
What is Grief?
Grief is not a feeling, it’s a response with many emotions. It’s different from sadness, depression, and trauma; although grief may encompass parts of all of them.
Grief is not the same as depression and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM -5-TR), clarifies this. Grief differs from major depressive disorder because the experiences that accompany grief (e.g., sadness, insomnia, poor appetite, tearfulness) are often focused around the deceased. The grief one experiences from the death of a loved one, called Bereavement, is a normal reaction to the death of a loved one.
Nonetheless, it’s possible for a person to become depressed and bereavement is often considered a common precipitant of clinical depression. The takeaway here is that a person grieving a loved one is not considered to have major depressive disorder, but the symptoms associated with grief could evolve into it.
Grief is not a moment in time, it may start with a moment, sometimes anticipated, never expected, and life is never the same.
There is no beginning or end point.
It is a process we go through when we experience a loss that feels like a part of us. It may be a partner, a child, a parent, a pet or a friend. It may feel like it changes your identity and your dreams of the future.
Reach out!
Can we really just “get over it?”
You may experience an internal fight telling you on one hand, “get over it” and on the other hand, “but I can’t” or “I shouldn’t.”
Often the messages our friends, family, and society send are reflective of the “get over it,” “move on,” “get busy,” and/or “please don’t talk about it” philosophy. This is partially because we humans are often so uncomfortable with talking about death, loss, and all the emotions that come with it. Yet, grief is a natural response to the loss of someone we love.
With the help of grief (yes, grief is helpful - more on that below), we gradually adapt to the changes in our lives without our loved one. Changes in our day-to-day functioning, our identity, our family and friends, our future plans, and dreams.
This does not mean we forget those we lost, it means we recreate our lives in the physical absence of our loved ones.
It’s common for people to believe that time will heal the grief wound and make it smaller. But what really happens is that our life gets bigger and grows around grief. This concept is wonderfully depicted in the image below.
What is the purpose of grief?
Other possible benefits of grief include learning acceptance, appreciation, gratitude, and the importance of living each day based on what we value. Sometimes, it’s really difficult to see anything positive when we’re feeling sad and even harder to know where to begin.
Reach out!
Grief is universal yet varied in its expression
Bereavement is experienced differently across the world. For example, in many western cultures, black is the color of grief, yet in many Asian cultures, white is the color of mourning. In some countries, grief is displayed by loud wailing while in others, quiet prayer or meditation is the expectation.
Different religions have different ways of rituals and traditions, such as in Judaism, family and friends are invited to “sit shiva;” whereas in Catholicism there may be a wake and funeral. Others choose to create their own way of grieving and mourning, depending on what the deceased valued.
Keep in mind that these community rituals are not only to remember the deceased but for loved ones to connect in their sadness.
Prolonged Grief Disorder
Sometimes, grief may become more complicated. If grief symptoms are getting in the way of your day-to-day life and/or persist for more than a year, grief therapy may be a necessity.
According to research, approximately 7% of the bereaved experience symptoms of Prolonged Grief Disorder (DSM V- TR).
Symptoms of Prolonged Grief Disorder:
- A persistent yearning/longing and/or preoccupation with thoughts or memories of the deceased for greater than 12 months
- And experiencing at least 3 of the following symptoms:
- Identity disruption
- Marked sense of disbelief about the death
- Avoidance of reminders
- Intense emotional pain (e.g., anger, bitterness, sorrow) related to the death
- Difficulty reintegrating into one’s relationships and activities after the death
- Emotional numbness as a result of the death
- Feeling that life is meaningless as a result of the death
- Intense loneliness as a result of the death
In addition, these symptoms are interfering with functioning and exceed cultural norms and expectations. In other words, the experience of grief has negatively impacted at least one area of your life (e.g., ability to work, socialize, take care of yourself, etc) and is more intense than what might be expected by others within the same culture (e.g., American culture).
If you are experiencing the symptoms listed above, there is hope! Evidence-based talk therapy treatments are available and can focus on the complicated thoughts and emotions you may be experiencing.
Reach out!
How Therapy Helps People Experiencing Grief
Grieving is a process that looks different for everyone, it does not always occur in stages, so how do you know if you’re okay on your own? How do you know if therapy would be a benefit for you? And since grief is a normal “process” what would therapy do?
Signs that therapy might be helpful for your grief:
- You’re finding it difficult to communicate what you need to friends and family
- You’re judging yourself as or fearing you are a burden
- Or you simply want someone to listen
What to expect from grief therapy:
- Have a supportive space with a neutral person to help you talk about all the ways you’re impacted
- Learn how to identify and describe your feelings
- Learn numerous coping strategies to better manage painful experiences
- Receive help with solving problems
- Cope ahead with future challenges
- Navigate new experiences
- Assistance with rebuilding a values-congruent life (a life that has meaning)
In reflecting on the quote below, therapy can provide some of the support you may need while becoming whole again. Keeping in mind your desire to not forget your loved one.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever.
You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.
You will heal you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.
You will be whole again but you will never be the same.
Nor should you be same
Nor would you want to.”
What to do next
- Give us a call at 954-488-2933, send us a message or schedule a callback to get matched with one of our therapists
- If you would like one, our practice offers complimentary 15-minute phone consultations. During this consultation, we will learn more about your needs and goals. You'll be matched with one of our expert therapists
- Next, you'll meet with your grief therapist for an initial session. There, they will get a very thorough understanding of your unique background, history and what you'd like to accomplish. They’ll share ideas for an action plan and collaboratively, you'll both decide next steps
- Therapy typically includes other team members as appropriate. You might be recommended to visit a general physician, psychiatrist and/or dietician as part of your treatment team to address both mind and body
- How long does grief therapy last? The duration of therapy depends on many individual factors (e.g., the severity of symptoms, co-occurring conditions, your attendance in therapy, etc.). Generally speaking, some folks reach their goals as quickly as ten sessions whereas others may find it helpful to continue therapy sessions for several months. The course of therapy will be collaboratively decided between you and your therapist
Get Matched With A Therapist in Just a Few Moments
Give us a call or send us a message and someone will be in touch with you asap.
(954) 488-2933
Para servicios en Español, por favor oprima aquí.