Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
By José Ramirez, LMHC and Rachel Christopher, PsyD
Holiday stress getting to you? Our Fort Lauderdale therapists share made-to-order responses for awkward family questions
The holidays can be joyful and stressful. Between the food, travel, and family dynamics, it’s easy to feel on edge when relatives ask those probing personal questions.
At The Psychology Group, a Fort Lauderdale therapy practice, our clinicians came together to create ready-to-go responses for the most common uncomfortable questions you might face this holiday season.
Each one includes a mild, medium, and spicy option. Select which one to use depending on how many times the question’s been asked and how direct you want to be.
The spicy responses are largely for entertainment purposes only… use at your own risk! Results may vary.
Questions About Your Body:
Have you thought about taking Ozempic? (Or another thinly veiled “concern” about your body.)
Mild: I hear that you are curious about my health. Knowing you, it probably comes from an innocent place, and questions like that are more personal than I’m comfortable with.
Medium: I’d prefer it if you didn’t ask me questions related to my weight.
Spicy: Is your name Dr. Smith? Then why are you asking me about my weight?
Questions About Your Life Choices
Why aren’t you drinking?
Mild: That’s more of a personal question than I think you realize. I really like your sweater!
Medium: I have my reasons, and I’m not open to sharing them.
Spicy: Why are you drinking?
Why haven’t you found a job yet?
Mild: It’s pretty tough to be in the job market these days, and talking about it bums me out. Can we change topics?
Medium: That’s between me and my linked in profile!
Spicy: That’s an interesting way to ask me how I’m managing the stress of a job search.
Relationship Questions
When are you getting married?
Mild: We are enjoying our relationship the way it is right now, thank you for asking.
Medium: A better question might be: are we even thinking of marriage?
Spicy: Someone who’s been divorced three times shouldn’t assume that everyone is rushing to get married.
When are you having kids?
Mild: We have been talking about it but aren’t ready to discuss it yet.
Medium: It’s not as easy to raise kids these days, you can’t feed a family on minimum wage, so we are taking our time to think about and plan accordingly.
Spicy: How do you know I even want kids?
Why are you single?
Mild: I enjoy being on my own, I’m having a great time.
Medium: There’s nothing wrong with being single.
Spicy: Who said I was single?
It’s inevitable that someone will ask you a rude question during the holidays, whether it’s intentional or not. Sometimes people just don’t know how to ask about something sensitive or someone is just trying to be spicy and get a rise out of you.
Your response should match the nature, tone, and frequency of the question. While we always recommend a mild/medium response, sometimes we get pushed to the point where we may have to be more firm, and a spicy response is warranted. This is in no way meant to create conflict, in fact, a good idea if using a spicy response might be to follow it up with why you responded that way. Something like, “you’ve asked me the same question 4 times and my previous responses didn’t seem to have satisfied your curiosity so I had to be more direct.”
What we don’t recommend is avoidance or people pleasing and feeling like you have to answer something that you really don’t want to. Family time might mean boundaries for certain people or around certain conversations, and that’s ok. Try out these responses next time someone asks you an uncomfortable question.
You may be surprised by the insights and personal growth that come from this process. Therapy can be life-changing—why not give it a try?
If setting boundaries with family feels overwhelming or leaves you anxious afterward, our therapists in Fort Lauderdale can help. Contact us to schedule an appointment and learn tools for managing stress and communication during the holidays and beyond.
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José Ramirez is a licensed mental health counselor and Certified Sex Therapist. He is an expert in sex therapy, relationships, depression therapy, anxiety therapy, PTSD and trauma-related issues, mood disorders, and LGBTQ+ specific issues. Call 954-488-2933 or email today to discuss how our services can help you.
Servicios disponibles en español.
(PY 12403)
Dr. Rachel Christopher is a licensed clinical psychologist in Fort Lauderdale. She is an expert in working with teens and young adults. She specializes in depression therapy, anxiety therapy, PTSD and trauma-related issues, self-esteem, perfectionism, stress management and more.
Call 954-488-2933 or email today to discuss how our services can help you.
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